"Manchester City can confirm that striker Carlos Tevez has been suspended until further notice for a maximum period of two weeks.
"The player's suspension is pending a full review into his alleged conduct during Tuesday evening's 2-0 defeat to Bayern Munich. "The player will not be considered for selection or take part in training whilst the review is under way."
So says the official statement on the “Citeh” website regarding what is now known as the “Carlos Tevez incident” (how long before it is called Tevez-gate?”)
So if before the Man City fans thought he was god, perhaps now he to quote Monty Python, “isn’t the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy.”
Tevez, as well as being hideously ugly (you certainly couldn’t say it was “Sexy Football” where he is concerned, could you?) is a very good footballer. I might even go so far as to say he is brilliant actually – he has ripped my team to pieces for both Manchester clubs and for that reason alone I would love to see the back of him.
But there are more reasons than just that one.
What Tevez did on Tuesday – and indeed how he has behaved for months and months – is just the sort of thing we hate here at sexyfootball.
These people need to know just lucky they are to play football for a living, and to refuse to come on as a substitute as he appears to have done is nothing short of a disgrace.
It might be that there was, as Tevez claims, a misunderstanding – although quite how there can be a misunderstanding in the phrase “you’re on, son” I am yet to establish – and he might still be the good professional he claims to be but the fans in the Sky Blue half seem to be decided on the issue – especially if the story that someone pinned a sign to his gate telling him he was a “disgrace” is true.
As you know, at Sexyfootball we like to save you money on 5 and 6 a side football, but our general ethos is that we love football and want to see it protected. With that in mind, we have an idea as to how Manchester City could save themselves £100,000 a week or more…..
Thursday, 29 September 2011
Genius Is An Overused Word But....
In a world where every sportsman (apart from Joey Barton) appear to be just a faceless corporate drone with very little interesting to say we at Sexy Football thought we might celebrate the genius of one Mr. Brian Clough.
Cloughie died seven years ago today, and the world is poorer without him.
Here was a man who could never be accused of towing the party line.
Here was a man who, live on a chat show offered to fight Muhammad Ali, who punch Roy Keane (can you imagine the balls on a man that punches Roy Keane!?!) hung Mark Crossley up on a coat hook (must’ve been an extremely strong coat hook!) and gave a couple of pitch invaders a smack after a Nottingham Forest game – and in the end they gave Clough a kiss!
Here was a man who, we would like to think might approve of what we do here at Sexy Football. We are trying to give Joe Public a fair deal. He might also approve of 5 aside football, given that largely it is played on the ground.
So with that in mind, we would like to celebrate the wit and wisdom of Old Big ‘Ead himself.
"If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there." On the importance of passing to feet.
"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one." Looking back at his success.
"Manchester United in Brazil? I hope they all get bloody diarrhea." On Man Utd opting-out of the FA Cup to play in the World Club Championship.
"I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball - he might grab mine." On the influx of foreign players.
"I bet their dressing room will smell of garlic rather than liniment over the next few months." On the number of French players at Arsenal.
"Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when you go on holiday? I haven't had fourteen pairs in my life." On the contents of Posh Spice's missing luggage.
"Rome wasn't built in a day. But I wasn't on that particular job." On getting things done.
"On occasions I have been big headed. I think most people are when they get in the limelight. I call myself Big Head just to remind myself not to be." Old Big 'Ead explains his nickname.
"At last England have appointed a manager who speaks English better than the players." On the appointment of Sven Goran Eriksson as England manager.
"If he'd been English or Swedish, he'd have walked the England job." On Martin O'Neill.
"Anybody who can do anything in Leicester but make a jumper has got to be a genius." A tribute to Martin O'Neill.
"The ugliest player I ever signed was Kenny Burns." A Clough complement for a talented player.
"Stand up straight, get your shoulders back and get your hair cut." Advice for John McGovern at Hartlepool.
"Take your hands out of your pockets." More advice, this time for a young Trevor Francis as he receives an award from the Master Manager.
"The Derby players have seen more of his balls than the one they're meant to be playing with." On the streaker who appeared during Derby's game against Manchester United.
"I only ever hit Roy the once. He got up so I couldn't have hit him very hard." On dealing with Roy Keane.
"Walk on water? I know most people out there will be saying that instead of walking on it,
I should have taken more of it with my drinks. They are absolutely right." Reflecting on his drink problem.
"
"I'm dealing with my drinking problem and I have a reputation for getting things done." A comment which speaks for itself.
"Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive." After the operation which saved his life.
"Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes." Reflecting on England's exit from Euro 2000.
"We talk about it for twenty minutes and then we decide I was right." On dealing with a player who disagrees.
"I want no epitaphs of profound history and all that type of thing. I contributed - I would hope they would say that, and I would hope somebody liked me," On how he would like to be remembered.
"It was a crooked match and he was a crooked referee. That was a tournament we could and should have won." On the 1984 UEFA Cup semi-final Forest lost to Anderlecht.
"I'm sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I'd want to run the show. They were shrewd, because that's exactly what I would have done." On not getting the England manager's job.
"You don't want roast beef and Yorkshire every night and twice on Sunday." On too much football on television.
"I'm not saying he's pale and thin, but the maid in our hotel room pulled back the sheets and remade the bed without realising he was still in it." Referring to former Forest player Brian Rice.
"If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well." On too many managers getting the boot.
"I thought it was my next door neighbour, because I think she felt that if I got something like that, I'd have to move." Guessing who nominated him for a knighthood.
"For all his horses, knighthoods and championships, he hasn't got two of what I've got. And I don't mean balls!" Referring to Sir Alex Ferguson's failure to win two successive European Cups.
"I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud." On women's football.
''That Seaman is a handsome young man but he spends too much time looking in his mirror, rather than at the ball. You can't keep goal with hair like that." On England goalkeeper David Seaman.
"I've missed him. He used to make me laugh. He was the best diffuser of a situation I have ever known. I hope he's alright." On the late Peter Taylor.
"He's learned more about football management than he ever imagined. Some people think you can take football boots off and put a suit on. You can't do that." On David Platt's first season as Forest manager.
"He should guide Posh in the direction of a singing coach because she's nowhere near as good at her job as her husband." Advice for David Beckham.
"Barbara's supervising the move. She's having more extensions built than Heathrow Airport." On moving house in Derbyshire
Cloughie died seven years ago today, and the world is poorer without him.
Here was a man who could never be accused of towing the party line.
Here was a man who, live on a chat show offered to fight Muhammad Ali, who punch Roy Keane (can you imagine the balls on a man that punches Roy Keane!?!) hung Mark Crossley up on a coat hook (must’ve been an extremely strong coat hook!) and gave a couple of pitch invaders a smack after a Nottingham Forest game – and in the end they gave Clough a kiss!
Here was a man who, we would like to think might approve of what we do here at Sexy Football. We are trying to give Joe Public a fair deal. He might also approve of 5 aside football, given that largely it is played on the ground.
So with that in mind, we would like to celebrate the wit and wisdom of Old Big ‘Ead himself.
"If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there." On the importance of passing to feet.
"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one." Looking back at his success.
"Manchester United in Brazil? I hope they all get bloody diarrhea." On Man Utd opting-out of the FA Cup to play in the World Club Championship.
"I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball - he might grab mine." On the influx of foreign players.
"I bet their dressing room will smell of garlic rather than liniment over the next few months." On the number of French players at Arsenal.
"Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when you go on holiday? I haven't had fourteen pairs in my life." On the contents of Posh Spice's missing luggage.
"Rome wasn't built in a day. But I wasn't on that particular job." On getting things done.
"On occasions I have been big headed. I think most people are when they get in the limelight. I call myself Big Head just to remind myself not to be." Old Big 'Ead explains his nickname.
"At last England have appointed a manager who speaks English better than the players." On the appointment of Sven Goran Eriksson as England manager.
"If he'd been English or Swedish, he'd have walked the England job." On Martin O'Neill.
"Anybody who can do anything in Leicester but make a jumper has got to be a genius." A tribute to Martin O'Neill.
"The ugliest player I ever signed was Kenny Burns." A Clough complement for a talented player.
"Stand up straight, get your shoulders back and get your hair cut." Advice for John McGovern at Hartlepool.
"Take your hands out of your pockets." More advice, this time for a young Trevor Francis as he receives an award from the Master Manager.
"The Derby players have seen more of his balls than the one they're meant to be playing with." On the streaker who appeared during Derby's game against Manchester United.
"I only ever hit Roy the once. He got up so I couldn't have hit him very hard." On dealing with Roy Keane.
"Walk on water? I know most people out there will be saying that instead of walking on it,
I should have taken more of it with my drinks. They are absolutely right." Reflecting on his drink problem.
"
"I'm dealing with my drinking problem and I have a reputation for getting things done." A comment which speaks for itself.
"Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive." After the operation which saved his life.
"Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes." Reflecting on England's exit from Euro 2000.
"We talk about it for twenty minutes and then we decide I was right." On dealing with a player who disagrees.
"I want no epitaphs of profound history and all that type of thing. I contributed - I would hope they would say that, and I would hope somebody liked me," On how he would like to be remembered.
"It was a crooked match and he was a crooked referee. That was a tournament we could and should have won." On the 1984 UEFA Cup semi-final Forest lost to Anderlecht.
"I'm sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I'd want to run the show. They were shrewd, because that's exactly what I would have done." On not getting the England manager's job.
"You don't want roast beef and Yorkshire every night and twice on Sunday." On too much football on television.
"I'm not saying he's pale and thin, but the maid in our hotel room pulled back the sheets and remade the bed without realising he was still in it." Referring to former Forest player Brian Rice.
"If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well." On too many managers getting the boot.
"I thought it was my next door neighbour, because I think she felt that if I got something like that, I'd have to move." Guessing who nominated him for a knighthood.
"For all his horses, knighthoods and championships, he hasn't got two of what I've got. And I don't mean balls!" Referring to Sir Alex Ferguson's failure to win two successive European Cups.
"I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud." On women's football.
''That Seaman is a handsome young man but he spends too much time looking in his mirror, rather than at the ball. You can't keep goal with hair like that." On England goalkeeper David Seaman.
"I've missed him. He used to make me laugh. He was the best diffuser of a situation I have ever known. I hope he's alright." On the late Peter Taylor.
"He's learned more about football management than he ever imagined. Some people think you can take football boots off and put a suit on. You can't do that." On David Platt's first season as Forest manager.
"He should guide Posh in the direction of a singing coach because she's nowhere near as good at her job as her husband." Advice for David Beckham.
"Barbara's supervising the move. She's having more extensions built than Heathrow Airport." On moving house in Derbyshire
How Is Abbey Gonna Play Sexy Football - Give Her Some Oatcakes!
Sexy Football – when we aren’t looking at ways to save you money on 5 and 6 a side football, you know to stop you being ripped off by unscrupulous 5 and 6 a side football firms – likes to do other things.
Some of those things….and you will already know this if you are paying attention, include watching football, listening to heavy metal and, we admit, it we like to look at women (now that’s not a sexist thing – frankly if our female or indeed male readers want to look at blokes that’s fine with us).
But two of those things combine this week. And they combine in the rather shapely form of Miss Abbey Clancy – the wife of Peter Crouch.
Now, as you might have noticed if you read my other blogs, I am a Stoke City supporter and I am one who is going to be watching everyone’s favourite beanpole forward as he makes he Stoke debut tomorrow against Liverpool (and at http://www.sexyfootball.org.uk/ we have always a respect for Crouchy ever since the famous answer he gave to the question “what would you be if you weren’t a footballer”*)
The big question, though, remains. And it’s not a football one. It’s this:
Is the lovely Abbey going to like Oatcakes?
Various august media outlets (as well as the Daily Mail and Chris Evans) devoted their time last week to belittling Stoke on Trent and its people (the Ginger idiot…a man who hasn’t ever said or done anything funny unless Danny Baker wrote it for him) but they conveniently forgot that the Five Towns are the home to the tastiest foodstuff known to man, and if that can’t keep them happy, nothing will.
I don’t know if Peter and the Missus settle down to a savoury snack that looks a little bit like a pancake and can be eaten wrapped up with Bacon and Cheese, Bacon and Egg, Bacon, Egg and Sausage or on a plate with Bacon, Egg, Sauasge and Tomatoes (ok there’s a bacon theme ). And NO they aren’t like Scotish Oatakes no matter how many times my mate asks!) But they should. And as he’s meant to be on £70 grand a week Pete can probably afford a couple.
And, if she’d like I would happily hand deliver it to Abby at some point tomorrow – Crouch needs to eat healthy so I’ll keep her company too, you know, just in case Crouchy founds them too tempting and tries to scoff one at 2.50pm.
* “a virgin” was his answer, in case you didn’t know.
Some of those things….and you will already know this if you are paying attention, include watching football, listening to heavy metal and, we admit, it we like to look at women (now that’s not a sexist thing – frankly if our female or indeed male readers want to look at blokes that’s fine with us).
But two of those things combine this week. And they combine in the rather shapely form of Miss Abbey Clancy – the wife of Peter Crouch.
Now, as you might have noticed if you read my other blogs, I am a Stoke City supporter and I am one who is going to be watching everyone’s favourite beanpole forward as he makes he Stoke debut tomorrow against Liverpool (and at http://www.sexyfootball.org.uk/ we have always a respect for Crouchy ever since the famous answer he gave to the question “what would you be if you weren’t a footballer”*)
The big question, though, remains. And it’s not a football one. It’s this:
Is the lovely Abbey going to like Oatcakes?
Various august media outlets (as well as the Daily Mail and Chris Evans) devoted their time last week to belittling Stoke on Trent and its people (the Ginger idiot…a man who hasn’t ever said or done anything funny unless Danny Baker wrote it for him) but they conveniently forgot that the Five Towns are the home to the tastiest foodstuff known to man, and if that can’t keep them happy, nothing will.
I don’t know if Peter and the Missus settle down to a savoury snack that looks a little bit like a pancake and can be eaten wrapped up with Bacon and Cheese, Bacon and Egg, Bacon, Egg and Sausage or on a plate with Bacon, Egg, Sauasge and Tomatoes (ok there’s a bacon theme ). And NO they aren’t like Scotish Oatakes no matter how many times my mate asks!) But they should. And as he’s meant to be on £70 grand a week Pete can probably afford a couple.
And, if she’d like I would happily hand deliver it to Abby at some point tomorrow – Crouch needs to eat healthy so I’ll keep her company too, you know, just in case Crouchy founds them too tempting and tries to scoff one at 2.50pm.
* “a virgin” was his answer, in case you didn’t know.
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